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When Captain & Tennille divorced in 2014 after forty years of marriage, one headline captured the irony perfectly: Love Won’t Keep Us Together. The couple had built their career on the 1975 hit “Love Will Keep Us Together” — a Neil Sedaka song that became an anthem for romance. But their story illustrates a truth many couples discover too late: love, as powerful as it feels, isn’t enough on its own to sustain a marriage and family through the long haul.

This raises an honest question: if love isn’t the only necessary ingredient, what is? What does a home actually need — not just to survive, but to genuinely thrive? The answer is older than any pop song. Psalm 127, a song written by Solomon, opens with a striking declaration: “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” From this ancient wisdom, three essential pillars emerge for any marriage or family that wants to go the distance.

Essential #1: A Growing Personal Relationship with Jesus Christ

The cornerstone of any enduring home isn’t a feeling — it’s a foundation. In construction, the chief cornerstone was the anchor stone that determined every angle, every wall, and every line of the building. Solomon’s point is that Jesus must serve that same role in our lives and homes. That means more than a one-time decision made at age twelve. A growing relationship with Christ is active and ongoing — shaped by hearing God’s Word and actually putting it into practice. As Jesus said at the close of the Sermon on the Mount: “the wise man builds his house on the rock by hearing and doing, while the foolish man hears and does nothing, building on sand that will eventually give way.”

The blessing doesn’t come in the knowing. It comes in the doing. Families that want a home God can bless must ask honestly: are we building on the rock, or are we taking the shortcut and building on sand because it’s easier?

Essential #2: Awareness That the Enemy Is Targeting Your Home

If there’s one area where spiritual warfare gets personal, it’s the home. The Bible describes the devil as a roaring lion, prowling and looking for an opening — and our families are his preferred target. The most important test of our faith isn’t how enthusiastically we worship on Sunday morning. It’s what our lives look like at home, where our guard comes down.

The enemy uses several common weapons to destroy marriages and families:

Sexual immorality — perhaps the most destructive force in homes today. With the internet placing temptation a finger-swipe away, guarding hearts and eyes has never been more urgent. The Bible’s instruction is blunt: flee immorality.

Drugs and alcohol — substances that promise freedom but deliver bondage. The old proverb still holds: first the man takes the drink, then the drink takes the drink, then the drink takes the man. Lives and families are dismantled every day by addiction that began with what seemed like harmless recreation.

Greed and selfishness — the relentless drive for more that burns people out and starves their families of time, presence, and connection. Scripture calls believers to contentment, reminding us that in Christ, we already have everything we truly need.

Bad company — the friends and influences surrounding us and our children matter enormously. As Proverbs puts it, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Parents especially need to know who their children are spending time with.

Bitterness — perhaps the quietest destroyer. Every unresolved hurt eventually hardens into resentment, and resentment left alone becomes bitterness. The Bible warns us not to let the sun go down on our anger, because undealt-with wounds give the enemy a foothold in our homes.

Essential #3: Recognizing the Value and Responsibility of Children

Psalm 127 calls children a gift from the Lord and compares them to arrows in the hands of a warrior. That metaphor is more instructive than it might first appear. Before an arrow is ready to fly, it starts as a crooked stick — something that must be shaped, sharpened, and polished through patient, intentional work.

That’s the calling of parenthood. Children need their character formed, their lives protected from harmful influences, and their skills built for the path ahead. But, as Colt McCoy once stated, “the goal isn’t to prepare the path for the child — it’s to prepare the child for the path.” Raising kids who can never face disappointment, failure, or hardship isn’t protection. It’s a disservice. In the end, a child well-raised is an arrow launched into the world — equipped to face the enemy, stand on their own, and make a difference.

Building on the Rock

The storms Jesus described in Matthew 7 came against both houses — the one on the rock and the one on the sand. No family is exempt from difficulty. But the house built on Christ and his Word stood firm, while the other fell with a great crash. Love is a beautiful and necessary part of marriage — but it was never meant to carry the whole load. A home that survives and thrives needs the Lord at its cornerstone, eyes open to the enemy’s schemes, and a vision for raising the next generation well. Build on the rock. Everything else is sand.